5 Things I Learned about Sexuality from Watching One Movie

One movie can say a lot when it comes to sexuality and since this one was a teen flick, what it’s telling me worries me.

The Movie Itself

I was watching a movie the other day, perhaps you know it – Easy A. It’s an interesting study in sex education, sexuality, and rape culture. Lately, because I guess this is something I feel driven to share when I watch a movie like this, I see these things and evaluate what the media is telling us about these topics. What I see in this movie is not very great – hint: there are spoilers so if you haven’t seen it, consider yourselves warned.

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An Unschooler says “Yes” to Public School

After unschooling for years, I allowed my kids to go back to public school. Here’s why…

First, let me say unschooling is something I believe in whole-heartedly. My kids have grown and learned so much throughout their time unschooling. They’ve learned to trust the world around them and trust us as parents to have their back. Their confidence has grown by leaps and bounds but in an effort to unschool, I have come across a unique situation. Where is the line? That line where you as the adult come in and make the decision for them, taking away the power you have worked so hard to instill in them. At what point does a parent say no?

THE PROPOSAL

I know, there are times when things are too dangerous and that’s a clear line. I’m talking in regards to their decisions about their education. As a community of unschooling moms, what would you do when your kid comes to you claiming the next step in their education is to go to a public school?

Now, I can hear the thoughts in your head. I’m sure I had a handful of them myself but trust me when I say, my kids rarely go into anything blindly. They researched. They talked about it. They came up with a fantastic presentation of all the ways a public school could help them. Taking the initiative to find a good place for themselves and asking their mom to support them in their decisions.

Smoke Doesn’t Always Lead to Fire – Thank Heavens!

So, Mondays – we all love them. For a stay-at-home mom, Mondays are usually just like any other. Sometimes there is a partner that leaves to go back to their 9 to 5 and that makes it a little different. But ultimately, the Monday dread usually doesn’t exist for those who stay at home and care for the children.

There are moments I wonder why I am here doing this stay at home thing and this unschooling thing. But then there are moments like today. And yes, today just happens to be Monday. Today is a day when my skills as a respectful parent were tested to their fullest.

Now, I am comparatively new to this respectful parenting thing. I have not fine tuned all my skills as of yet. And there are some things that ingrained programming has made a struggle. And this is where we begin.

Saving Money – It’s a thing!

Let’s start by saying, I love my husband. Sometimes I wonder how or why. But I do. He is a very intelligent man with a sense of humor matching my own. But here’s the thing. He grew up without. Not the normal without. But seriously without. And this has traumatized him somehow. To his credit, the pattern of survival he developed in those years has subsided in some aspects…except in the category of actually getting things fixed.

When it comes to actually getting things fixed, he is always looking for the cheapest shortcut because we obviously can’t afford anything else (an error in thinking that I can’t seem to get him passed). So, when something breaks or needs a repair, I am generally left with two options short of an argument and an Aspy meltdown.

Option One – He will fix it himself.

This option has a few distinct flaws I am super familiar with. My husband is good with his hands. He’s smart enough to do the research and find the information. This man can learn to fix just about anything. HOWEVER – this man also has an aversion to taking a project to completion. Half fixed and repaired things are my life.

Living Intentionally…?

There are times I wonder why I started a blog. I have not been very good at keeping it up. And I am sure I have lost readers because of it. Sometimes I wonder if I really needed the exposure. What my message was supposed to be. Why? Why did I do this?

The short answer, I’m not sure right now.

Perhaps we all go through a phase where we don’t write. Sometimes we get blocked and can’t figure out what to say as we sit down at the keyboard. We all want to sound important and intelligent and to have our thoughts read and validated by others.  Some of us are writers at our core and just need to put this stuff down, even if it’s only for posterity. Others have an exact point to make or the point they are trying to make is to live a more purposeful life.

So why do we do this?

Why do we live by the clock to post on time as to not disappoint our readers, our followers, our “likers”?

Volunteerism

No this isn’t a call to arms. It isn’t a way to shame anyone or make them feel guilty. It is what it is. Some call it service. Some call it assisting the less fortunate. But it all boils down to one simple word:

Volunteering!

As an advocate, I find a lot of people get that idea mixed up with volunteer. Don’t get me wrong, I do both. But sometimes, when I am attempting to get my kids involved in volunteering, I find it difficult to motivate them. To kids, volunteering sounds like work. And let’s face it, some volunteering is work.

We all know service is important and we all know we need to give back. It makes you feel good. It builds community. It creates a sense of belonging. It bridges gaps that other actions and programs are unable to bridge.

Boring service is sometimes necessary. None of us likes that stuff. The boring stuff is not for your kids.

Mind Blindness

We visited my parents a few weeks ago. This is a normal thing for us. We live close and I have most of the grand kids. So they love when we are hanging out, even if it’s just for a moment. We visit more often than every few weeks, but this time has been bouncing around in my brain. So I felt it was necessary to share.

It’s so prevalent because we had another moment where I desperately try to explain to my father the idea of mind blindness.

The “American Dream” and Me

I always believed in the American dream. My parents lived it practically verbatim. My dad started his own business at 32 and he worked long, hard days to bring home a steady income. It paid off. 30 years later, that business is still here and because he pushed to make it so successful, he’s had enough money to leave that one to the employees in a buyout and start a different business. One less difficult on him physically. Less wear and tear on the old guy.

I did not grow up in the lap of luxury though.

The business really wasn’t stable and successful until I was a teenager. We grew up on Ramen and cheap Mac & Cheese and hand me down clothes. My younger sisters were the ones who grew up a little high on the hog, especially the youngest one. And that’s okay. I appreciated a lot of what I had.

Is English no longer valid here?

Sometimes I wonder why I am driven to write. It is excruciating sometimes – critics and the lay people can be so harsh. I am not sure why that is the case. I can be a turtle without a shell when it comes to my writing. Perhaps that’s why I never did much with my skill. Maybe I just don’t have thick enough skin to handle this. Then I wonder how much I have been bursting at the seams to just type something. To play on words. To create a riveting story.

Then I wonder if I have the skill, the talent and the time to develop. Oh – that’s the scary part. The skill is not necessarily something that can be completely taught. Some people have developed their skill and shared it with the world in the way of publishing their works. Most say the written word is dead. It all has to be digital – books will go to the wayside and all forms of communication will become something online.

Things that make you go hmmmm…

I’ve been away for a while and I’ll explain it for you. My last post was super negative. I hate it when I get like that, but I have promised genuine reality. And the reality is, people by nature are not always happy. We all have our moments when it’s better we don’t deal with people or things or successfully adult. But I hope I made you think a little while on my high horse. Sorry, someone rubbed me wrong that day when I was running an errand in the morning. All that aside, I wonder why we only gravitate toward the positive.

I’ve read a lot of things recently and watched a lot of things recently. The eclipse was a very big deal. We sat on my bed eating popcorn and watched as many states received their two plus minutes of darkness. I’ve read more information on conscious parenting and children’s rights – yes, they have them and are entitled to exercise them regularly.